The Huffington Post asked twelve bosses what they believed it takes for an employee to get promoted. Here is their advice corrected for BS by me:
1) Don't be passionate about your work. Just do it. Never trust eager beavers.
2) One boss said, I love it when someone smart challenges my thinking. Yeah, sure. Key here is smart and no one is smarter than the guy who thinks he is smarter because he is paid more. But if you still want to correct what he is doing, blame your colleague for not getting the boss' instructions right. The boss will realize it was he who made the mistake. But he will fire your colleague and follow your advice.
3) Don't self-praise. That is reserved for the boss.
4) One boss said, 'tell me what is wrong and more importantly how you will fix it'. This serves two purposes. Your boss knows you're on top of his problem and working to fix it. Second, it gives him time to work out his own solution or steal yours.
5) Don't be a drama queen, unless it is a giant problem like smoke filling up the entire floor. Keep it to yourself. Edge closer to the exit and bolt when fire breaks out.
6) Bosses like to think people are happy to work for them so keep smiling. Never be cross with fellow workers. It shows you are trying to beat a deadline that will make them delay you more. Smiling misleads them into thinking you are on top of the situation and gives you time to pack your things and get out.
7) Take notes but don't show them even if your boss forgets what he told you. Show the notes to his boss. Do not do this until you are next in line.
8) Never skip the office party even if it is nauseating. It is a chance to be noticed as the next one to be retrenched or promoted. Take your chances.
9) Don't act like you expect to be promoted. Bosses like to disappoint. It shows their power. If they need you, they will promote you to keep you. If they don't, they won't. One boss said, 'let's be honest, I promote people with good personalities.' This means people who get the work done, leaving him to take the credit.
10) Be a team player or look like you are. Misery loves company. But remember being a visible part of a team exposes you to being the scapegoat for its failure. You must balance visibility with deniability.
11) If you ask if you can help do someone else's job better, that will ensure that you never run out of people who hate you, which marks you out as having leadership potential in most companies.
12) One boss said, 'know your job which is not your job description'. Your job is whatever your boss expects you to do for him. You might tell him your need to prioritize but this only exposes your limitations.
If you click Huffington Post, you will see I changed everything. My version does not help you get promoted. It lets you keep your job in a bad economy.
Keep safe and keep well.